The Little Demon on my Shoulder
"I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." Philippians 4:13
Well I try to not only share all the success with you but I feel I need to share the trying times as well. The past few days have been difficult. It seems that when I weigh in immediately a little demon jumps on my shoulder and whispers all these temptations in my ear. On my way to the gym Thursday morning my thoughts went to the fact that I was weighing in and should I lose I should treat myself to a Southern Chicken Biscuit at McDonald's for breakfast. I passed the McDonald's and sure enough not a soul was at the drive thru window. Well I resisted that temptation and drove to work and had a protein shake for breakfast. One for me zero for the little demon!!!
All day long all I thought about was food that I should not eat. We celebrated a birthday at work earlier in the week and my thoughts went to the kitchen and what might be leftover from the celebration. The temptation to eat something rich and full of calories was almost overwhelming. I made it through lunch eating my Living Lean meal!! Two for me and zero for the little demon!! At home Thursday night all I thought about was food. I ate my supper (Living Lean) and once I settled down for the evening I tried to read a book. All the commercials on TV were about food. My husband flipped to the Food Network and I told him, "Oh no I cannot watch food all evening!!!" He found something else to watch. While reading my book, honestly this is what happened, my mind was scanning the kitchen cabinets for something to "nibble on". I could not believe the torment I was putting myself through.
That little voice kept saying, "Go ahead, it is two weeks before you have to weigh again!!" "Indulge a little!!!" Finally about 9:30 PM I just went to bed. Three for me zero for the little demon!!! Then the pity party began. Why should I have to watch every mouthful of food I eat. It is in my genes to be fat so accept it and learn to live with it!! I finally went to sleep really ticked off at myself for not being able to eat what I want to and for being so weak!!!
On Friday I did better through the day but my family was celebrating my great niece's birthday that night and where did they pick to celebrate-----Ryan's Steakhouse. Yep!! all I needed was troughs of food laid out before me with a waitress constantly filling up a basket of rolls, right at the table!!!. ALL you can eat is, in my opinion, my number one enemy!! While waiting for the others to arrive the hot rolls on the table were so hard to resist. And, well, the little demon won that round. I ate half of a roll. Three for me and one for the little demon!!! So off to the food I went!! First I went to the salad bar. A nice salad would not leave any room for indulging. I spotted roasted chicken so I retrieved a piece of that and a few green beans. I immediately went back to the table. I ate the salad, chicken and green beans and was happy with my choices. Four for me and one for the little demon!!! Then it was time for everyone to go to the dessert bar. I was just glad my sister did not make one of her delicious birthday cakes and bring it with her to the gathering. Well I went and looked, decided on a very small amount of strawberry frozen yogurt. It was very good. Since there was plenty of those rich, full of calories cakes, pies and cobblers I felt victorious at having a little frozen yogurt. SO I marked one up for me!!!
Thank goodness on Sunday morning I awoke and the little demon had decided to retreat!! I say retreat because I know she will probably be back. I just wanted you to know that this journey is not without its "work zones" where I have to really work at not indulging my cravings!! If you can relate let me know. I have been on this journey four months and know that I have many months to go. I did not put on all this weight overnight and I will not lose it overnight. The road is rough at times. So share your hard times with me. I would love to hear from you!!!
Thank you for coming along on my journey to a healthier lifestyle. Faith and her little demon!!!
Well I try to not only share all the success with you but I feel I need to share the trying times as well. The past few days have been difficult. It seems that when I weigh in immediately a little demon jumps on my shoulder and whispers all these temptations in my ear. On my way to the gym Thursday morning my thoughts went to the fact that I was weighing in and should I lose I should treat myself to a Southern Chicken Biscuit at McDonald's for breakfast. I passed the McDonald's and sure enough not a soul was at the drive thru window. Well I resisted that temptation and drove to work and had a protein shake for breakfast. One for me zero for the little demon!!!
All day long all I thought about was food that I should not eat. We celebrated a birthday at work earlier in the week and my thoughts went to the kitchen and what might be leftover from the celebration. The temptation to eat something rich and full of calories was almost overwhelming. I made it through lunch eating my Living Lean meal!! Two for me and zero for the little demon!! At home Thursday night all I thought about was food. I ate my supper (Living Lean) and once I settled down for the evening I tried to read a book. All the commercials on TV were about food. My husband flipped to the Food Network and I told him, "Oh no I cannot watch food all evening!!!" He found something else to watch. While reading my book, honestly this is what happened, my mind was scanning the kitchen cabinets for something to "nibble on". I could not believe the torment I was putting myself through.
That little voice kept saying, "Go ahead, it is two weeks before you have to weigh again!!" "Indulge a little!!!" Finally about 9:30 PM I just went to bed. Three for me zero for the little demon!!! Then the pity party began. Why should I have to watch every mouthful of food I eat. It is in my genes to be fat so accept it and learn to live with it!! I finally went to sleep really ticked off at myself for not being able to eat what I want to and for being so weak!!!
On Friday I did better through the day but my family was celebrating my great niece's birthday that night and where did they pick to celebrate-----Ryan's Steakhouse. Yep!! all I needed was troughs of food laid out before me with a waitress constantly filling up a basket of rolls, right at the table!!!. ALL you can eat is, in my opinion, my number one enemy!! While waiting for the others to arrive the hot rolls on the table were so hard to resist. And, well, the little demon won that round. I ate half of a roll. Three for me and one for the little demon!!! So off to the food I went!! First I went to the salad bar. A nice salad would not leave any room for indulging. I spotted roasted chicken so I retrieved a piece of that and a few green beans. I immediately went back to the table. I ate the salad, chicken and green beans and was happy with my choices. Four for me and one for the little demon!!! Then it was time for everyone to go to the dessert bar. I was just glad my sister did not make one of her delicious birthday cakes and bring it with her to the gathering. Well I went and looked, decided on a very small amount of strawberry frozen yogurt. It was very good. Since there was plenty of those rich, full of calories cakes, pies and cobblers I felt victorious at having a little frozen yogurt. SO I marked one up for me!!!
Thank goodness on Sunday morning I awoke and the little demon had decided to retreat!! I say retreat because I know she will probably be back. I just wanted you to know that this journey is not without its "work zones" where I have to really work at not indulging my cravings!! If you can relate let me know. I have been on this journey four months and know that I have many months to go. I did not put on all this weight overnight and I will not lose it overnight. The road is rough at times. So share your hard times with me. I would love to hear from you!!!
Thank you for coming along on my journey to a healthier lifestyle. Faith and her little demon!!!
posted by Faith at
5/19/2008 11:43:00 AM
1 Comments:
I just wanted to let you know how proud I am of you and to encourage you to keep it up. I know how difficult this is and how it is a constant battle to make the right choices. You look wonderful and I know that you are going to be successful! Love You!
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